He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
