WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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