Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
