There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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