I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
