Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
