my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I am naked and annoyed.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
