A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She needs sedatives and a leash
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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