don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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