My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Shame - the story of my life.
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