I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Two words: blizzard sex
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
