and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
