Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
this is an emotional support booty call
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
