LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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