Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
