i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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