try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
