Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
