how can u be prego again
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
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