I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
