Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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