Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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