I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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