I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
