he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
