it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
