There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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