I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
