Moan for me like Helen Keller
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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