she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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