I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
