you guys were way drunker than both of me
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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