my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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