dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
