There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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