thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
