how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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