i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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