Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
