make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
