Don't you send me to vm
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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