Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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