SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Do you remember whose house we're in?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
