There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
