My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
