I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
