I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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