Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
