Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
