Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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