on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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