He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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