Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
