no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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